Death Doula

We can redefine what death means: how we perceive it, how we plan for it, how we navigate its complexities.

Death, like so many other areas of our life, has been co-opted by rigid patriarchal, consumerist and environmentally unsound systems that take advantage of our fears and insecurities around end of life in order to control and profit from the process.

We are led to believe that there is a binary blueprint for pre and post death administration that leaves scant room for personally crafted choice and individuality in what is the most deeply personal and sacred passages of our lifetime.

The death industrial complex institutionalizes what should be the most creative, tender, meaningful and highly personalized of rituals we will ever engage ourselves in.

Let’s recapture and redefine this passage for ourselves and for our loved ones. Let’s own it, embrace it, and lovingly craft our death into the most personal and precious creation of our lifetime.

Telling your own story can make all the difference.

How I can assist…

  • Planning

    Ideally this begins right now, wherever you are in life: young or old, robust or health challenged.

    This process encompasses both the didactics of healthcare directives, estate planning, and dispensation of belongings as well as brainstorming, meditations, and dreaming about our death; familiarizing ourselves with the processes and possibilities, reducing our fears and concerns along the way; so as to be better prepared, present and at ease around all things death related.

  • Soothing

    While contemplating or moving through death whether from a place of health or in decline, there are holistic practices that can greatly enhance the experience and help ease the nervous system so that we can find respite in the present moment.

    This might include engaging in meditation, nature immersion, sound healing, tuning forks, reiki, circle sharing, or a uniquely personal blend of those methods. This is helpful for both the dying and for those who are aiding their loved ones through the process.

  • Green Burials & Home Funerals

    Both cremation and conventional burials are detrimental to the environment. There are options for disposition that not only reduces environmental impact but contribute to its enhancement.

    Viewings and memorial services that are personally curated by the decedent and/or their family, and that take place either in the home or another place special to the deceased, honors the uniqueness of our departed rather than hewing to the uniformity of traditional funerary services.

Contact Me

"Debra helped my family ask the questions we needed to ask when thinking about our mom's passing. She helped us find our own answers for how we wanted her final days to be structured, and how we wanted to memorialize her afterwards. She sent useful planning tips and locations in addition to the emotional support. We are grateful to have her guide us through these difficult days with ease and kindness. Her light touch was just what we needed.”

- Glenna G and Grant G

Sensuous during life do not deny me in death!

Wash me with scent of apple blossom.

Anoint me with essence of lilac.

Fill my veins with honeysuckle nectar.

Sprinkle me with perfume of purple violets.

Envelop me in a shroud saturated with fragrance of freshly mown hay.

Rest me in moss velvet earth.

Cover me with soil exuding flavor of maple and oak leaves.

Command a white birch to stand guard!

- Lois Wickenhauser